![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
old enough to feel ways about stuff
Aug. 29th, 2011 02:27 amI just need all of this in one place. So here, have a feelings collage. ( Doctor Who. )
It has just occurred to me that probably part of the reason "I just have a lot of feelings" has become a mantra of this journal, and indeed, my life, is that interacting with the rest of the world has often made me feel (...) like I wasn't feeling enough. [I expect I am not alone in this. Just, er, also not with most people I've ever met. Different strokes, whatevs, I hope we can all learn to live in peace and non-judgmental harmony in our various states of ~emotion & tear duct usage.]
I just finished Mira Grant's Feed, which is truly a great read. It's about politics, and zombies, and disease, and internerds. I recommend it! May soon be tweeting Simon Pegg & Edgar Wright level recommend it! And, as you might guess from the subject matter, some rough shit happens. So on I frolic to her questions-from-the-audience post, and am promptly taken aback by the number of people upset by said rough shit.
Wait, people were crying? I... I enjoyed that part. And the thing is, this is such a familiar sensation -- from the moment Chrissy walked up to me in 7th grade P.E. and said "Did you see The X-Files last night? Mulder died! I cried so much!" as I scoffed, through dozens of run-ins with real friends and fandom, up through last week when we left Toy Story 3 -- that uncomfortable knowledge I had, even as a child, of some cynical fourth-walled remove between me and whatever it was other people didn't, the wondering if there is something wrong with me*, and (as I grew older) the inevitable feeling of defensiveness that followed.
( ;__________; or not )
I just finished Mira Grant's Feed, which is truly a great read. It's about politics, and zombies, and disease, and internerds. I recommend it! May soon be tweeting Simon Pegg & Edgar Wright level recommend it! And, as you might guess from the subject matter, some rough shit happens. So on I frolic to her questions-from-the-audience post, and am promptly taken aback by the number of people upset by said rough shit.
Wait, people were crying? I... I enjoyed that part. And the thing is, this is such a familiar sensation -- from the moment Chrissy walked up to me in 7th grade P.E. and said "Did you see The X-Files last night? Mulder died! I cried so much!" as I scoffed, through dozens of run-ins with real friends and fandom, up through last week when we left Toy Story 3 -- that uncomfortable knowledge I had, even as a child, of some cynical fourth-walled remove between me and whatever it was other people didn't, the wondering if there is something wrong with me*, and (as I grew older) the inevitable feeling of defensiveness that followed.
( ;__________; or not )
just to see one of us make it
May. 7th, 2010 03:48 pm[1. I apologize. For various things, but also the possible implication of extremely nonspecific spoilers for aired tv. 2. back in american beauty mode it seems, turning to my tumblr here for visual backup. 3. jdddddhfusdjuiad 4. aw fuck it]
*chinhands* Girls.
Top fictional ladies of the moment, circa a few days ago:
Amy Pond
April Ludgate
Annie Edison
Anna(belle)
Olivia Dunham, but at least for 50% Anna Torv's Face (and Anna Torv's scruffy wet hair, and Anna Torv's pajamas) reasons
Then I decided what the world needs now is Annie/Amy. Sassy girls look, internet. Sassy girls 4 lyfe.
Then I began the Tenwich, a grueling Doctor Who marathon during which![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rawles (and so far also pathstotread and latropita, aka the Doofpire Army) and I re/watch the entirety of New Who, despite our vast distaste for Ten and Tennant*, made palatable by ladies and nommy Nine and Eleven breads. So:
Rose Tyler
(Amy/Rose? Surely that is a thing that will exist. Surely.)
Oh, I also watched Legend of the Thing from like a month ago with Cara and Kahlan and the thing. I'm only like 60% on Cara/Kahlan (WOW I CANNOT EVER TYPE CARA WITHOUT TRYING "KARA" FIRST) but, uh, sometimes sixty percent is all you need. And it finally, because I'm dense, occurred to me that Legend of the Thing being produced by RenPics, producers of what can only be the most aggressively lesbonic fanservicing show of all time, um... kind of know what they're doing there.
The fact that Cara has followed the real Kara into the unlikely path of Female Character Woobiehood has not escaped my notice, though as with Kara, I'm on another road entirely. This is a road not of woobies, but fucking feelings all up in my grill.
Britta Perry, skyrocketing in the rankings. Bonnie Bennett! my love!, being my love! Isobel ... well ... can't win 'em all.
But let us not forget! The real ladies who make the magic happen:
Amy Poehler who wrote last night's P&R, perhaps in an effort to slough herself of excess wonderfulness.
Alison Brie, who wrote ... errr ... this, which perhaps oddly makes me just real person lies ship her with Dong Lover shippier than ever.
Malese Jow, who made Team Anna.
Rashida Jones. Because she is Rashida Jones. Similarly (not for being Rashida Jones though): I came to terms long ago with the fact that I love Kristen Stewart, but holy shit guys, what even is this, I really love Kristen Stewart.
And Courtney Yates, who at an undetermined point during the Dragonz music video eclipsed all others -- even Amy Pond! (see, I am being circuitous) -- to become my actual hero. fffffff, she typed, giving each f a thoughtful and individual nudge.
*chinhands* Girls.
* aka Calculon, but with more grimacing and less Spanish dubbing by the watchful eyes of YouTube
[coming soon perhaps! 30 days of TV meme, scientifically rewritten so as to be less repetitive and more ridiculous. Can I do it? Can I even form critical-thought-ish paragraphs anymore, ever again? Don't hold your breath is all i am saying.]
*chinhands* Girls.
Top fictional ladies of the moment, circa a few days ago:
Amy Pond
April Ludgate
Annie Edison
Anna(belle)
Olivia Dunham, but at least for 50% Anna Torv's Face (and Anna Torv's scruffy wet hair, and Anna Torv's pajamas) reasons
Then I decided what the world needs now is Annie/Amy. Sassy girls look, internet. Sassy girls 4 lyfe.
Then I began the Tenwich, a grueling Doctor Who marathon during which
rawles (and so far also pathstotread and latropita, aka the Doofpire Army) and I re/watch the entirety of New Who, despite our vast distaste for Ten and Tennant*, made palatable by ladies and nommy Nine and Eleven breads. So:Rose Tyler
(Amy/Rose? Surely that is a thing that will exist. Surely.)
Oh, I also watched Legend of the Thing from like a month ago with Cara and Kahlan and the thing. I'm only like 60% on Cara/Kahlan (WOW I CANNOT EVER TYPE CARA WITHOUT TRYING "KARA" FIRST) but, uh, sometimes sixty percent is all you need. And it finally, because I'm dense, occurred to me that Legend of the Thing being produced by RenPics, producers of what can only be the most aggressively lesbonic fanservicing show of all time, um... kind of know what they're doing there.
The fact that Cara has followed the real Kara into the unlikely path of Female Character Woobiehood has not escaped my notice, though as with Kara, I'm on another road entirely. This is a road not of woobies, but fucking feelings all up in my grill.
Britta Perry, skyrocketing in the rankings. Bonnie Bennett! my love!, being my love! Isobel ... well ... can't win 'em all.
But let us not forget! The real ladies who make the magic happen:
Amy Poehler who wrote last night's P&R, perhaps in an effort to slough herself of excess wonderfulness.
Alison Brie, who wrote ... errr ... this, which perhaps oddly makes me just real person lies ship her with Dong Lover shippier than ever.
Malese Jow, who made Team Anna.
Rashida Jones. Because she is Rashida Jones. Similarly (not for being Rashida Jones though): I came to terms long ago with the fact that I love Kristen Stewart, but holy shit guys, what even is this, I really love Kristen Stewart.
And Courtney Yates, who at an undetermined point during the Dragonz music video eclipsed all others -- even Amy Pond! (see, I am being circuitous) -- to become my actual hero. fffffff, she typed, giving each f a thoughtful and individual nudge.
*chinhands* Girls.
* aka Calculon, but with more grimacing and less Spanish dubbing by the watchful eyes of YouTube
[coming soon perhaps! 30 days of TV meme, scientifically rewritten so as to be less repetitive and more ridiculous. Can I do it? Can I even form critical-thought-ish paragraphs anymore, ever again? Don't hold your breath is all i am saying.]
Dear internet,
Why is love so hard? Why do I struggle with new love? It doesn't make sense. I am an INFP. THE F IS FOR FUCKIN' FEELINGS. But every so often along comes a love (and with it feeeeelings) that seems to defy my ability to process it. So, being me, I make up terms for it. I pretend it is a disease and it is my private joke with myself about how I am such a doofus who lives on feelings yet REJECTS THEM and then I am like Beast at the end of Disney's BATB with feelings shooting out of my toes. Also my face. What a doofus! What a way to go.
It is not that I do not want the love. I do. But it is just a lot, you guys.
( here is a picture )
I am like that douche in American Beauty right now. IDEK.
Why is love so hard? Why do I struggle with new love? It doesn't make sense. I am an INFP. THE F IS FOR FUCKIN' FEELINGS. But every so often along comes a love (and with it feeeeelings) that seems to defy my ability to process it. So, being me, I make up terms for it. I pretend it is a disease and it is my private joke with myself about how I am such a doofus who lives on feelings yet REJECTS THEM and then I am like Beast at the end of Disney's BATB with feelings shooting out of my toes. Also my face. What a doofus! What a way to go.
It is not that I do not want the love. I do. But it is just a lot, you guys.
( here is a picture )
I am like that douche in American Beauty right now. IDEK.
serve god, love me, and mend.
Apr. 1st, 2010 02:54 amThis entry is a whole lotta very personal tl;dr about seeing myself in fictional characters and sorting through those reactions and how I process fiction and emotions. Contains: self-description (ugh), reflections on my jerkiness and anxiety, self-indulgent biases. Does not contain: real meta, a conclusion, or proof-reading, or perspective whatsoever.
( navel-gazing tangentially concerning james t kirk, nyota uhura, britta perry, and naomi campbell. )
( navel-gazing tangentially concerning james t kirk, nyota uhura, britta perry, and naomi campbell. )